Written by anchochilly
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Thursday, 27 August 2009

At a press conference on Wednesday...South Carolina's lieutenant governor called for the resignation of Gov. Mark Sanford citing "serious misconduct" and "serious distractions" in connection with Sanford's extramarital affair with a woman from Argentina.

In an effort to expedite the resignation Lt. Governor Andre Bauer offered to supply Sanford with Amtrak tickets if he would resign immediately.

"Regrettably we have reached a point where we must ALL put the best interests of the people of South Carolina ahead of personal or political interests and therefore I have been authorized by the state legislature to offer the Governor 2 train tickets to any destination in the continental United States if he will resign and leave town immediately.

In a late-afternoon news conference, Sanford said he was "not going to be railroaded out of this office by political opponents...but I would consider leaving on a private jet...preferably a King Air stocked with bowls of M & M's...no brown ones...Fuji apples no larger than 3 inches in diameter from Bryson's Apple Orchard in Mountain Rest, S.C. and 9 bottles of Argentinian water...preferably Lauquen."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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