Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

image for Senator Ted Kennedy Has Left His Yacht To Glenn Beck
Senator Kennedy's yacht, The Silver Sage of The Sea.

HYANNIS PORT, Massachusetts - Senator Ted Kennedy has left his prized, pride and joy yacht The Silver Sage of The Sea to Fox Network political TV show host Glenn Beck.

Speaking from the Kennedy Hyannis Port Compound family spokesperson Oliver Terenpelli stated that Mr. Beck had recently called the senator and had an extensive chat with him.

Beck had mentioned the horrible sh*t storm that his remark about President Obama being a racist had caused and how he had lost 33 of his 36 sponsors.

Senator Kennedy suggested that all he had to do to fix the situation was to simply say that he realizes that he had made a stupid-ass remark, and that he was sorry.

The Massachusetts senator then pointed out that all he needed to do then was just ask for every one's forgiveness, including the "First Mama" Michelle Obama, Vice-President Joe Biden, White House maid Shantell Shackleford, and TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey.

Beck noted that he understood why he had included Mrs. Obama, Ms. Shackleford, and Ms Winfrey since they are all black, but he was wondering why he should apologize to Vice-President Joe Biden who is as white as ex-baseball catcher Bob Uecker.

Ted smiled and told him that he was going to let him in on a little secret. Beck was all ears. Kennedy then told him that only him, the president, and Bill Clinton knew that Biden has been a card-carrying member of the NAACP since 1977.

"Really?" Beck remarked.

"Really." The senator replied.

Senator Kennedy then noticed that Beck had suddenly become very quiet.

He asked him what was wrong. And Beck answered that there are only a handful of foods that he does not like. He said he doesn't care for spaghetti, or Thai food, or salmon.

Kennedy asked him what his point was.

And Beck replied "The one thing that I hate to eat above everything else is crow."

The Massachusetts senator told him that he understood. He wished him luck and told him that if he ever needs a place to stay he has an extra room at the Kennedy Compound that he is welcome to use.

Glenn Beck informed CNN's Anderson Cooper that he has just learned that Senator Kennedy left him his prized pride and joy yacht, The Silver Sage of The Sea.

Beck opened a letter from the senator that said:

Mr. Beck, I know that deep down inside you are not a bad person. You like myself care deeply about the United States of America. But we all make mistakes. I have even made one of four in my life.

I do hope that you find it in your GOP heart to apologize to our president. But if you don't I want you to have my beautiful, expensive yacht because I know that you will probably eventually get fired and you will no doubt need a place to stay.

My yacht has everything that a house has, a big screen TV, a full kitchen, three bedrooms, a two-car garage, a three lane bowling alley, a movie theater popcorn machine, and the Internet. Take good care of it and please do not speed, especially near bridges. Thank you. Enjoy!

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 3?

3 9 21 4

Go to top