Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 August 2009

image for Glenn Beck Asks President Obama For A Stimulus Package Bailout
A photo of one of the only three commercials still airing on The Glenn Beck Show (photo courtesy of Kibbles 'n Bits).

NEW YORK CITY - Political talk show host Glenn Beck has stated that he never in a million years would have thought that almost all of his shows sponsors would jump ship as they did.

Beck stated that he figured that one or six would perhaps abandon him but not 33...and counting.

He said that he just received an email from the Rolls Royce Motor Car Company informing him that they would continue to advertise on his show.

Spokesperson for an executive automobile manufacturer, Shacola Bushbaum, stated that since Democrats do not buy executive autos, they would continue to allow their commercials to run on The Glenn Beck Show.

Bushbaum went on to explain that according to The Magical Tube TV Commercial Data Gathering Group of Ohio 97.1 percent of Beck's viewers are members of the GOP.

She further elaborated that her company has never and will never advertise on shows like American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, America's Got Talent, and Two And A Half Men since the vast majority of the viewers of those shows are people who are either Democrats or vote Democrat.

Beck personally phoned Mrs. Bushbaum and expressed his gratitude to her for their loyalty. He then asked her if her company would give him a Rolls Royce, even a used one, since in the event that he loses his job, he would not be able to make the payments on his Bentley.

Mrs. Bushbaum was shocked that he had a Bentley and not a Rolls Royce seeing as how Rolls Royce has loyally stayed by him through this advertisement shit storm (her exact words).

Beck replied that he was going to buy a Rolls Royce last year, but the dealership was out of green ones so he ended up buying a green Bentley.

Bushbaum hung up on him.

Meanwhile the Kibbles 'n Bits Dog Food Company who have said that they will continue advertising on his show stated that the fact that the leading shareholder in their company Simon Coolcosey just happens to be the twin brother of Glenn Beck's wife has absolutely nothing to do with their decision to stay.

The third group still advertising on Beck's show, the law firm of Lettsinger & Lettsinger, have officially stated that they will continue allowing their advertising spots to run on The Glenn Beck Show.

But they have told The Fox Network that they want to be refunded $45,000 of the $50,000 that they initially paid to have their commercials aired on Beck's show.

SIDENOTE: An unnamed source has stated that Glenn Beck called up President Obama and asked him if he could please make arrangements to provide him with a stimulus package bailout as soon as humanely possible. The unnamed source disclosed that President Obama started laughing hysterically and reportedly told Beck, "Dude, you do have some bigguns I'll say that. Let me suggest that you borrow the money from Limbaugh, Hannity, or O'Reilly. I understand that those three white boys are loaded" [CLICK]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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