Mitt Romney, a candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination, has decided that his lack of success was due to his first name and wants a change.
"People just don't take you seriously with a name like Mitt. They think of baseball and have a feeling that you are just going to be playing games in office.
"I've decided that, from now on, I want to be known as Muff. When men hear the sound of that word, it brings a smile to their faces. When women hear it, they will immediately think that I am a man who is sympathetic and open to women's issues and problems."
There is no truth to the rumor that Arkansas Governor John Huckabee has the nickname of "Diver." Therefore, there will be no "Muff Diver" bumperstickers in 2012 if these two fill up the Republican ticket.