Minneapolis, Mn.- Mitch Mitchsonofabitch, the longtime manager for Brett Favre, announced today that the former Green Bay Packers quarterback has decided to retire from football.
"After signing this year with the Minnesota Vikings, he was told he would be considered a rookie, and like all rookies would have to sing his old college fight song. It was then that Brett realized he had been hit in the head too many times over the years by NFL pass rushers and that he couldn't remember his old college team, let alone their fight song."
At the same time it was revealed that he has signed a $2.8 million dollar contract with the rock music group The Village People. "Combined with the million dollar signing bonus with the Vikings organization," said Mr. Mitch Mitchsonofabitch, " that makes for a pretty good days haul."
It was announced that he would join the group on tour in September. "I'm afraid he has already missed all of the pre-tour workouts and practices, so he'll have to work our on his own for the next month. But he should be in shape and able join us on tour in time for the Huntsville, Alabama show."
"Unfortunately," a spokesman said, "we had to cut the Indian from the team to make way for him. That was too bad, but hey, he's excited about joining us a new character. He's going to play a shirtless football player wearing just a helmet and short shorts."
Reached for comment at his home in Louisiana, Brett would only say, "It's a living. And you got to admit their songs are kind of catchy. Besides I'm used to grown men patting me on the ass, so it shouldn't really that big of a change."