Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 24 August 2009

image for The Real Reason That Hurricane Bill Amazingly Veered Away From The East Coast
Hurricane Bill on his way out to the Atlantic Ocean.

CAPE COD, Massachusetts - Just about every weather forecaster had predicted that Hurricane Bill was going to hit the east coast of the United States.

But Bill, or Billy as Larry Kings calls him miraculously made a right turn and veered away from the U.S. mainland.

Weather experts from Walla Walla, Washington to Millinocket, Maine are stunned at this highly unusual development.

The Weather Channel's highly respected senior weather forecaster Buster "El Nino" Ginwater was the only one in the U.S. who correctly predicted that Hurricane Bill would veer towards the Atlantic and completely miss making landfall.

When Ginwater was asked how he knew he replied that it was really just a simple deduction on his part. He said that the past week there has been a tremendous amount of hot air coming from a certain east coast political commentator.

Ginwater went on to say that this individual has been putting out such a tremendous amount of anti-Obama rhetoric that his show has already had thirty-three (33) of his major sponsors cancel their advertising spots on his show.

Three of the major sponsors are Special K, Compound W, and Preparation H.

And just exactly how did this political pundit single-handedly cause Hurricane Bill to veer away from the mainland? It was all just a simple case of mind over matter, or more precisely hot air over a hurricane.

The tremendous amount of hot air generated by this pundit's politically motivated spewings was solely responsible for knocking Hurricane Bill's butt out into the Atlantic Ocean.

And who was this tremendously talented individual. It was none other than Glenn Beck.

And New England and all of the east coast owes Mr. Beck a debt of thanks. Even President Obama personally called up Beck and thanked him for his excellent work. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said that Glenn Beck is a true American in every sense of the word.

Vice-President Joe Biden (remember him) even chimed in and said, "I suggest that the Beckster keep on with anti-Obama rantings because it sure as the dickens spared my wonderful little state of Delaware from being blown all to hell by Billy boy."

The Kennedy family in Massachusetts emailed Beck with words of appreciation. And he was even invited to go sailing at the Kennedy Compound anytime he wants, all expenses paid.

Donald Trump who owns vast holdings all up and down the right coast said that he is so grateful to Glenn Beck that he promises that he will name his next child Glenn if it's a boy and Becky if it's a girl.

Regis and Kelly even said that they were thankful for all that Glenn Beck has done. Regis said that he will be sending him a personal check for $14,000 and Kelly said that the next time he appears on their show she is going to give him a great big French kiss.

SIDENOTE: President Obama is seriously considering asking Fox News to transfer Glenn Beck down to either Miami or New Orleans. That way the hot air from his anti-Obama diatribes and rantings will be able to cause any potentially damaging hurricanes to veer away from the U.S. mainland.

The president has even said that he would be willing to take $1 million from the Presidential Stimulus Package Fund to help pay for Beck's moving and relocating expenses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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