Eric Holder was called away from pressing duties involving the 2nd Amendment, and forced to intervene in a yet another Democratic Scandal involving extra marital sex.
Government investigators have uncovered a clandestine avenue to promote mistress swapping and a version of "cash for clunkers" as elected DEM Horn Dogs try to keep up their libido, or alternatively, bail out of fading relationships.
Using a popular web site known for providing various services and sales of all kinds, it appears that the scandalous outlet escaped scrutiny under the index listing of "Used Pets", despite receiving over 1 million hits a day.
Until a bored investigator inadvertently opened the site and found a collection of pornographic images of nubile nude women wearing only dog collars and furry handcuffs, the sex trade in Mistresses was doing a brisk business.
Comments from satisfied users included the infamous "Client # 9,", "The Rev", "Big John", "The Duke", "Cape Codder", "Peanut", and "Have a Tampa", to name just a few.
Just into the preliminary stages of the investigation, lead investigator Brian O'Malley, a 30 year veteran of the Massachusetts State Police, said he really had no leads, didn't have E-mail, and wasn't yet sure if a crime had been committed. O'Malley has headed the crack state investigative unit ever since he handled the unfortunate Chappaquiddick faulty brake incident involving former SEAL, and Massachusetts Senator, Ted Kennedy.
Meanwhile in North Carolina, wife of former Senator John Edwards and former Presidential Candidate, was on hand for the opening of her new Used Furniture store called "The Red Barn." When asked why she was opening this store now while fighting cancer and dealing with her Husbands infidelity and newly discovered out of wed lock child she responded, " we were just barnstorming, and this is something John suggested I open...he said with the economy the little people are always looking for a good deal on used items!"