WASHINGTON, DC - As the latest version of the hotly-disputed healthcare bill passed the House and made its way to the Senate, Republican lawmakers are up in arms about the latest provision tacked onto the legislation.
This latest provision stipulates that while everyone is allowed to purchase the government-funded insurance, surgeries, outpatient and inpatient visits will only be covered for 'patriotic Americans registered with the Democratic party.'
Obama has supported the measure, saying, "This will effectively cut the cost of the program in half, and over time, as Republicans are weeded out of the population, costs are projected to decrease even further."
Paul Dipshitz, a Republican senator from Iowa, disagrees. "While it's controversial, I doubt this provision will really make all that much of a difference. Most Republicans already have health insurance through their jobs, you know, because they do have jobs, and don't receive welfare benefits. So they'll be covered even when this ridiculous program fails. Me? As a senator I have really good health insurance, so I'm not too worried about it."