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Sunday, 18 July 2004

image for Bush : "Mea Culpa"
A rare North Borneon Hunting Culpa in it's lair.

George W. Bush stunned the world today by openly admitting to being a Culpa. The president confirmed that he is what is termed, a rare 'North Borneon Hunting Culpa'.

The Hunting Culpa is found mainly in dark, damp areas of rural Texas and can be very dangerous if threatened. It is particularly lethal when confronting it's natural prey, the 'Bewildered Bearded Spidey Hole Hussein".

In response to Maureen Dowd's question on whether this confession was simply the president being a pragmatist, he replied by saying that this was typical of the ignorance of the New York Times and in any event he hated gospel singing in church.

President Bush visably relieved to have finally unburdened himself, confirmed that he would be writing a book should he suffer a reverse in the elections. It would chart the rise and fall of a North Borneon Hunting Culpa, with no holds barred.

He admitted that he had written the first chapter which dealt with the macabre mating ritual of Hunting Culpas. The male circling the female who turns as well, to avoid the attack. When she bends to be sick, from all the turning, he races in and dishes up a more than decent portion.

On his 'cross pollination' with humans, the president showed us a picture of himself at a house of ill repute. When confronted by journalists about septic sores on his member, he told the press that as usual they were "being a little rash."

Asked whether this 'confession' lacked 'mens rea' the president said that he had nothing against mens rea but found it hard to accept that they might wish to marry.

In answer to the Washington Post's David Ignatius he said that he was unaware of any other Culpas save his mom and dad, and of course the First Culpa but not to mention all the little Culpas who had sprung from the first litter.

He also confirmed that the Secret Service did not use the acronym POTUS in his case, preferring to utilise POTTY which they deemed more appropriate in casu. He admitted to being totally mistyfied as to the whereabouts of Casu but planned to visit shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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