NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN)-- President Obama admitted that he is "a one-term President" at a Saturday morning press conference held at All Bull Shit News Network (ABSNN) World Headquarters in Manhattan.
Upon hearing the news at his Excellence in Broadcasting studios, right-wing, radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh began to break-dance, and then suffered what physicians termed "an attack of fecal-apoplexy."
Despite the heroic efforts of the Democratic physician who attempted to save Limbaugh's worthless ass, the nutter expired at 00:69 EST in Bedlam Hospital's psychiatric unit.
Limbaugh's last words were written down by a nurse at his bedside. He said, "I die a happy man!"
ABSNN Medical Editor, Smurfette, asked the physician, Dr. Ura Deadman Limbaugh (no relation to the dead commentator) to explain, in layman's terms, the diagnosis of fecal-apoplexy.
"Well, Ms. Smurfette, fecal-apoplexy is more commonly known as having thrown a 'shit fit.'"
Apparently, Limbaugh's death might well have been avoided, the preliminary medical examiner's report stated, "except for the fact that, due to overindulgence in erectile dysfunction medications, Mr. Limbaugh was complete and total, big dick -- one that obviously lasted more than four hours."
"President Obama had little to say about the man who called him many bad names," said a White House staffer. "Really, though, he should have listened to the President's entire sentence regarding his being a one-term President," the staffer concluded.
Transcripts of the President's remarks read:
"I admit I am a one-term president. One term at a time, that is!"
Sources close to Limbaugh told Smurfette, "There will be no formal funeral service for Rush because, once all of the shit spewed out of his bloated body, what little remained of him was placed into a matchbox."
Ann Coulter immediately claimed the "coffin," which she placed into an adobe shrine, built for that specific purpose, within her vagina.