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Topics: Theft, Unemployment

Friday, 21 August 2009

image for Employees Fired for Refusing to Honor Five-Finger Discount
The TV did not survive the attack.

BROOMFIELD, CO - Two employees of a Best Not to Buy store in Broomfield, Colorado, were fired because they tried to stop a shoplifter.

"Booyah!!" shouted Jared Bergstreser, 20, as he tackled a man attempting to leave the store with a plasma screen TV under his coat. "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?"

Colin Trapp, 23, hurdled from behind his register, issuing a banshee-like scream as he rushed over to help his co-worker.

The suspect pulled a knife on the two, then cut the store manager when he came over to calm things down.

Refusing to go away empty handed, the man grabbed several boxes of candy before scrambling out the door while the hapless pair attended to their bleeding boss.

Best Not to Buy said they had to let Bergstreser and Trapp go because they violated company policy when they made physical contact with a customer.

"What a load of crap!" exclaimed Bergstreser. "If he wasn't buying anything, he wasn't a frigging a customer!"

The dynamic duo indicated the company hasn't heard the last of this - not by a long shot.

"I don't think I really feel like looking for another job right now," said Trapp. "In fact, I just might grab a few things myself when I go back in to pick up my last check!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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