Written by Frankie The J
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Thursday, 20 August 2009

image for No one wants to get into Victoria Beckham's knickers!
dVb jeans, no one wants into Victoria's knickers

NEW YORK CITY- Victoria Beckham may be a Spice Girl; she is married to soccer cock, er, jock, David Beckham; she has signed a multi-million dollar contract to (tentatively) replace Paula Abdul on "American Idol;" and she has lost so much weight that she's become so skanky, er, skinny, that she has to run around in the shower just to get wet-but, poor thing, no one wants to get into her pants, for any price, much less for $300!

Vic-Beck's pricey-but not particularly spicy-line of vintage-style britches for bitches, dVb jeans, did little more than sit on shelves, collecting dust, but no $$$, for up scale clothing outlets throughout the US.

"Yeah, her tits are disproportionately large for her shrinking frame," said Perez Hilton in his Monday celebrity dissing blog. "I wouldn't pay a penny to get into her knickers," he wrote; "But to be fair to the woman, I AM a no talent, ugly, flaming faggot!"

US retail outlets dropped Vic-Beck's ridiculously overpriced blue jeans. One Rodeo Drive clothier claimed, "The anorexic cunt even refused to make appearances to promote the line."

Dollar General Stores also refused to stock the line saying they couldn't even get a Kentucky coal miner's daughter to pay a buck for them.

Yet another fascia Nazi, who refused to be identified said, "Have you seen her face? Her face would stop a train!"

Fashion Editor, Abel Rodriguez, asked the retailer what Vic-Beck's face had to do with the failure of her jean line and was told:

"Well, nothing, but, I mean, her face--fuck a duck, she's ugly!"

Whatever, you simply do not need $300 cut offs to swim in an empty gene pool.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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