Written by Frankie The J
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Tuesday, 18 August 2009

image for NYC artist's vinyl album of screams is big fuggin hit
Grace Slick, (left, holding star) of Jefferson Airplane, screams "Fuck me, baby"

NEW YORK - Remember the screaming punk singers who howled, or even screeched during parts of their heavy metal, amoral punk, and classic rock (say Joe Cocker and Janis Joplin)? LeRoy Stevens, a New York City artist and recording wizard, just released a 12-inch vinyl titled "Favorite Recorded Screams."

The record contains 74 short screeches, screams, canine howls, and shouts, in all, over a score of wailing shrieks, taken from tracks of songs by groups like the Who and Slayer, just to name two.

Stephens told reporters that the genesis of the vinyl should be credited to the shrieks at the end of the track, "A change is going to come" by Baby Huey, a sixties era Motown Man.

Soon after hearing the wailing at the end of that cut, Stephens began a R&D mission that took him into several NYC music stores where he asked employees for nominations for favorite "Waaaaaa-aaa-aaaaas" in a bad assed Rock 'n Roll record (think Janis Joplin's signature scream of "Cry Baby, released in the turbulent, mid-Vietnam Era).

"No self respecting old fart rock fan between the ages of 55 and 70-years of age will ever forget the primal scream that shot out of Joe Cocker's tripping mouth in reply to his backup singers who ask "Do you need anybody?" in his famous, Blue Eyed Soul rendition of 'With a little help from my friends," recorded with Leon Russell!

"You remember, Russell was assaulting that Fender, electric guitar, and wearing that awesome fuckin blue, velvet top hat…" said retired hippy disc jockey, WTRR's midnight to six, mega-super-stoner, teenie-bopper-boner, F. Edward Jordan, a perennial the top dog DJ in the late sixties through the mid seventies, central-Florida FM radio market, as he reminisced to TheSpoof.com's Deadhead, Cainan Able.

"Look, dude, I'm all of 20-years-old," Able replied to Jordan; "But my old great grand pa played some pretty weird shit on that prehistoric 8-track in that beat up Plymouth Barracuda."

"Shit, dude," Jordan retorted, "You just ain't hip on the trip. Real Rock 'n Roll will never go out of style; it'll never die! 8 track is on the way back!"

"Well, them bastards sure sound like they're being murdered, dude," Able shot back.

Both were among the thirty-four men and women arrested, and jailed, following the melee that occurred between the arthritic hippies and the 21st century "rockers," according to the arrest report released by the NYPD.

Additional arrests were made for the possession of beaded roach clips, bags of "green, leafy vegetable matter," six doobies, and one hash pipe.

Hey Dude, like what the fuck am I supposed to be writing about? Fuckin slipped my mind.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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