Written by Blazing Saddle
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Topics: Health, Health Care, NHS

Saturday, 15 August 2009

image for National Health Service Bought By America
US citizen awaits doughnuts from NHS dentist - stupid twat!

President Obama has triumphantly announced the purchase of the British National Health Service for immediate transfer across the pond.

Advance elements of NHS shock troops will land in Chesapeake Bay next Tuesday, provided that it is not a Bank Holiday.

The NHS Special Midwifery Corps will form the crucially important second wave and in a move of tactical genius, the Surgeon General is sending in the NHS Dentists in support of the Midwives.

The NHS Management Force will supervise the takeover of the US health system from a safe distance in Hawaii, thus explaining the recent surge of NHS expenditure on "liaison visits to semi-tropical beach resorts".

The first target is to be obesity, with the British diet expected to account for 22 million extra deaths in the first 2 years.

NHS midwifery should reduce the infant population significantly and NHS dentistry is expected to minimise weddings by 46% in 2 years by exposing the USA to British green teeth.

The need for Government Euthanasia Panels is not anticipated, as the deeply thick redneck Republicans who oppose any form of NHS for the USA will certainly commit unassisted suicide on day 1 of the NHS takeover.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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