Written by Bureau
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Topics: John Edwards

Saturday, 15 August 2009

image for DNA Tests Prove John Edwards Not John Edwards!
John Edwards?

In a big surprise Saturday, John Edwards, Senator from North Carolina who has taken a DNA test to see if he is the father of his mistress's 18-month-old daughter that was exposed by the National Enquirer last year, says the report shows that although he IS the baby's father, he is NOT John Edwards!

At the same time, the DNA seems to prove that he is actually a guy named Lucas McKee of Raleigh, North Carolina that once worked for the National Enquirer.

Now no one, not even Edwards, knows what to do.

Edward's wife, Elizabeth says that the fact that he is not her husband, John Edwards, makes perfect sense to her because the John Edwards of the past few years did not seem like the John Edwards she married years ago.

Will there be another election to see if another Senator should be elected since this one's re-election was fiction?

Where IS the real John Edwards?

A late bulletin by The National Inquisitor now says that a DNA sample found from an old nail clipping in a desk used by National Enquirer's Lucas McKee shows that he is actually David Montgomery who disappeared from a cruise ship in 2002, years before McKee joined the writers staff in 2004.

This is the same David Montgomery who was involved in the DNA testing to see if he was the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn!

Experts now say that the whole thing will probably wind up in the Supreme Court's lap in the first test of Judge Sotomayor, if that's who she really is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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