WASILLA, Alaska - The former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin was fit to be tied after she had her campaign manager, ah make that her assistant, Emmy Lou Headwater call a press conference at Wasilla's Nanook of The North Convention Center and no one, not a soul showed up.
At first Mrs. Palin looked at her watch and thought that maybe she was a day ahead of the scheduled meeting but no her watch was correct.
As she stood at the podium she looked around to the front side to see if perhaps all of the microphones had somehow fallen from the podium...nope.
She then turned to her campaign manager, I mean assistant Miss Headwater and asked if maybe it was a case of Daylight Savings Time kicking in...nope.
Palin then called the convention center manager and asked him if someone had locked the front doors...nope.
Just then a convention center worker happened to walk by. "Excuse me sir, I'm your ex-governor Sarah Palin and I was wondering if maybe you might have a question for me."
The worker looked at her and said, "Yeah, I got a question for ya, would you happen to know where they put the mop? Some stupid son-of-a-bitch has apparently moved it and I have to go up to one of the offices and clean up some vomit."
The ex-governor covered her mouth and made a beeline for the women's restroom.
While she was in the restroom her assistant made her way outside. When Palin returned from the restroom she saw that there were four men sitting in chairs in front of the podium.
"Great!" She said, "Ya know I sure am glad to see you reporter fellas have finally arrived. And now I'll take the first question, you sir sitting down there in the front row in the cutoff-jeans, torn sneakers, and the...Obama For President T-shirt. What is your question."
The man stood up, scratched his groin region, and asked, "My question is when do we get the three bucks?"
"What?" Palin asked.
"Yeah, that lady over there, the one turning away from us and looking out the back window said that she would give us each three dollars if we would come inside the building and sit down."
"That's it! This press conference is over!
"Hey lady, I want my friggin' three bucks!?"
SIDENOTE: Word from a very reliable source has said that Sarah Palin is seriously considering asking Tom Bergeron if she can appear on next year's Dancing With The Stars in order to get some much needed publicity.