Written by Don Fulsom
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Topics: Health, scream

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Emergency Rooms are treating a brand new ailment-one they have temporarily dubbed "Town Hall Throat" - a painful condition brought on by the crescendo of choreographed Town Hall screaming by opponents of health care reform.

"Our ER admissions for Town Hall Throat are skyrocketing," says Red Tonsil, a spokesman for the Association of Throat-Related Health Issues. "We're just overwhelmed by these shouting maniacs. Our supply of Smith Brothers cough drops is running low, plus virtually every one of these screamers is a certified nut job-an individual we label a DMI, or a person with 'Dual Medical Issues.'"

The best cure for the throat issue is putting these DMIs on what is called a "Michael Jackson," - hooking them up to a propofol drip and oxygen tank for a week to cure the throat pain, and then giving them a lot of psychotropic medications and psychotherapy.

Tonsil voiced hoped the epidemic would subside when health care reform is finally signed into law.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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