Vice President Dick Cheney is considering replacing George W. Bush as his running mate in the upcoming election. Sources in the Republican Party have been meeting in secret with Mr. Cheney in an effort to convince him the George Bush has become a liability to the ticket.
Possible replacements to Mr. Bush have been rumored to be Arizona Senator John Mc Cain, Secretary of State Colin Powell or, in an extreme case the dead, festering body of Ronald Reagan. Reagan is a problematic candidate at best; politico's are trying determine the legality of whether or not a two term President can run again if he's died in between the time he left office and the time he's chosen to run again. Apparently the fact the Mr. Reagan is dead in the first place does not seem to affect his chances at being tapped for the Presidential slot as Mr. Cheney would as usual make all the major decisions during the term. In the event of Mr. Cheney's demise Paul Wolfowitz and Karl Rove would share the decision making role in the Administration. Donald Rumsfeld would then be shot.
Being African American is more of a detriment to Colin Powell than being dead is to Ronald Reagan, that and the fact that Mr. Cheney hates his stinking guts. Neo Con kingmakers also have issues with Senator John Mc Cain who has an annoying tendency to tell the truth every now and then, a distinct liability in this Administration. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's name had also been bandied about, but that would have required taking over Austria as our fifty first state and the Army is stretched too thin already.
Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, "Normally, a coup like this would have to be planned in the utmost secrecy, but because we're talking about George Bush, it's easy. We've been discussing this right in front of him but I don't think he's aware of it. Once, down in Crawford, he even asked what we were talking about and we told him we were planning his surprise birthday party. He got all excited and for awhile was even helping us plan until we began to feel bad and sent him out to chainsaw some brush."