Written by smurfette
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Topics: Beaver

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

image for Why, I Otter!
good thing it wasn't a "beaver"!

DRUMMOND, WI, USA Iggotte Nein-Pantzer, 51, sought emergency medical services after skinny dipping in Lake Owen near Drummond last Wednesday. The Altach, Austria resident was on her annual vacation with her husband, I. De Weere-Pantzer, a native of the Duluth area, apparently because there are no lakes in Europe.

Nein-Pantzer claimed that as the couple enjoyed their time at the lake, three otters appeared in the water near her; becoming alarmed at the sight of the hairy critters, she hastily decided to swim to the shore.

Upon stepping onto the sand, she discovered the otters had hitched a ride; "there they were - one on the right leg and one on the left leg."

She then engaged in an altercation with the enraged beasts, who she stated bit her eight or nine times before finally swimming off.

Doctors have begun administering a series of rabies shots to Nein-Pantzer.

Local animal behaviorist Getta Clu speculated that the angry male otters had no doubt mistaken Nein-Pantzer's writhing, unshaven lower body for a pair of female otters, as it is currently mating season for the semi-aquatic mammals.

While Nein-Pantzer claimed the bites did not cause her a great deal of discomfort, she has decided to vacation closer to home in the future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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