Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Piss

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

image for Jaime Pressly Denies Peeing In Public
Jaime Pressly caught at The Three Stooges Shopping Mall Parking Lot in Tarzana by the Santa Ana Winds.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The star of My Name Is Earl, Jaime Pressly adamantly denies that she urinated in public.

West Hollywood Police Officer Elvio V. Yerbabuena said that at approximately 2:31 a.m. he spotted the 32-year-old blonde starlet squatting in an alley way behind The Shocking Pink Wedding Rice Wedding Gift Shoppe, an establishment that caters to the gay community.

Pressly who is 100 percent straight said that she was not really peeing and that she was just resting a little bit since she had been to an all-night club dancing her sweet little puckerboo off (her word).

The officer said that Pressly told him that she had not noticed but when she was squatting down to rest a little bit she did it in a spot where someone had gone #1 about 30 minutes before.

Pressly said that she asked the officer to take urine samples to prove that the urine was not hers. She did admit that she had in fact stepped in it, and yes her choice of squatting to rest was not the best choice but the fact of the matter is that the pee did not come from her lap la-di-da (her exact words, honest).

Ms. Pressly stated that she had peed just abut 15 minutes before in the bathroom of an all-night McDonald's Restaurant and she offered to show the officer two cell phone photos to backup her story.

Pressly later told her press agent that Officer Yerbabuena was being very uncooperative and that she figures that he was upset with her because she refused to sign an autograph.

She said that normally she signs all autographs, but that this time she was feeling so embarrassed plus very tired and weak that she probably would not have had enough strength to dot the 'i' in her first name.

In a related story. Since NBC has cancelled My Name Is Earl, Jaime has been busy filming a documentary about celebrities and their unusual eating and drinking habits. The film stars George Clooney, Tom Selleck, Matthew McConaughey, and Andy Dick. The title of the documentary is entitled A Gal, Three Guys, and A Dick.

SIDENOTE: Andy Dick plays the you-know-what.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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