Written by Nelo
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Topics: Wimbledon

Thursday, 15 July 2004

image for Remember Bush you're a Womble

Wimbledon Common.

Ever wondered what George Bush's middle name stands for? Well we have the answer. Reporters for Geneology Magazine went to England last week to find some of the President's relatives.

Not far from the All England Tennis Club, is the world famous Wimbledon common, home to a bunch of genial down and outs or 'bums' as they are often referred to in the States.

After an extensive search through the Public Records Office, the geneologists discovered that President Bush's paternal great-great grandmother was none other than a Womble. And not just any old Womble, but a Womble of Wimbledon Common, no less.

The Wombles are well known in England, and in particular they are known to keep their environment clean and tidy. This is in marked contrast to the President's views on the Environment which have come in for alot of criticism.

The Wombles have been running a recycling plant at Wimbledon common for the last thirty years. According to Wellington Womble, the Wombles were among the first to get into alternative energy. 'We've been very successful over the years using everyone else's junk to source clean energy, and it's quite profitable too". Wellington was embarassed when he learned that he was related to George W. Frankly, the guy is a dick, the name Womble is too good for him

The reporters interviewed several members of the Womble clan, but one in particular, Bungo, bears an uncanny resemblance to the President.

Bungo is not the brightest Womble in the world, but one thing he is sure of is that he is not the dumbest Womble either. When asked whether he was aware that he was related to the President? Bungo said 'Absolutely, the Bush's were always Wombles, George Snr came to visit us not long ago, he's a nice kind of womble, a bit like Grand Uncle Bulgaria'. The reporters probed Bungo further about the current President. 'Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it, but the President is a total Womble'.

Bungo wouldn't elaborate on this statement, so the reporters asked Orinoco Womble what it meant to be a total Womble? Orinoco was fortright in his answer, The world is full of sad pathetic creatures who do fuck all and just irritate the shit out of everybody, a bit like us really. There are quite a few Wombles around, like Sven Goran Erickson; he's a bit of a Womble. Then there's Prince Charles and Paul McCartney. We also reckon, Bono is a bit of a Womble. But I take my hat off to George Bush, he has Womble written all over him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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