HOUSTON, TX -- In a story that will surely dominate the talk around the water coolers across America, if not the world, comes this report from Houston, Texas:
George Vera, a 25-year-old, obese Texas inmate was charged with "possession of a firearm in a correctional facility" after he admitted to concealing an unlaoded 9mm pistol beneath rolls of fat.
Vera, who weighs in at 500-pounds, was strip-searched during his booking at a city jail and the county jail, yet got away with hiding the weapon in his rolls of skin.
According to Harris County Corrections reports, Vera admitted having the gun following a shower break at the county jail.
"This kind of shit wouldn't happen if we could X-ray these fat-assed crooks," said an unidentified Harris County Correction Officer.