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Topics: Stalkers

Saturday, 8 August 2009

image for Cyrus' Stalker Anxiously Awaits Coming of Teens
BTW: McLeod says, "I 'heart' you, Mylie Cyprus!!"

Miley Cyrus has been granted a restraining order against a 53-year-old man who claimed he was secretly engaged to the star.

Mark McLeod had his heart achy-breaky broken Tuesday night when he was charged with criminal attempted stalking, which apparently carries a lighter charge than criminal successful stalking.

According to terms of a temporary restraining order issued through Chatham County, Georgia, McLeod may not contact Cyrus or her family, friends or fellow employees, specifically by telephone, telegraph, letter, or by electronic communication like e-mail, Tweeter, MyTube, FacelessBook and other social networking sites.

"Wait a second... what was that second one again?" said McLeod. "Did I hear that right? Telegraph?? Nobody uses those anymore! It's 2009, for Pete's sake!"

"Bee tee double-u," he added, "I'll be hearting it when 2010, finally gets here! It was always so ackward not knowing how to refer to the last decade. I mean, are we supposed to call it the 'zeroes?' The 'oh-oh's?' Or just 'the 2000's'? It's all so complicated and confusing.

"It's gonna be great when the 'teens' finally get here!"

Make The San Francisco Onion's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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