Written by Professor Jabo
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Topics: Cars, church

Saturday, 17 July 2004

image for Senator Kerry Upsets AME Church in Los Angeles

After his recent tumultuous appearance at a Latino club in LA which resulted in two rabid patients, 24 pneumonia cases, six stolen cars and eight 7/11 robberies known as the Kerry Latino Riot, a restraining order barring Kerry from Latino clubs in LA was issued by Judge Lance Ito. Senator Kerry subsequently attempted a new approach to bond with minority voters by visiting the AME Church in LA.

Last Sunday, Senator Kerry joined the choir at the famous AME Church in LA. Members of the congregation noted he certainly did stand out in the choir. His rhythm was typical of all white men and probably worse than most. Members of the choir, however, said he lip synced through several gospels and failed to make a single audible sound.

Recalling his recent attempt to lip sync Herb Alpert's ‘The Lonely Bull" at a local Latino club which resulted in the Kerry Latino riot, choir members said they would have appreciated a genuine effort on his part to sing the beloved gospels with them. Jesse Jackson was incensed and said he was throwing his support to the Nader ticket and urged the congregation to vote for Nader.

Visibly upset, Senator Kerry slipped while exiting the choir area and lurched into the congregation falling on two deacons, three deaconesses, one elder and four other church members in rows 1,2,3, 4 and 5. Bumps and bruises were treated at the scene and all parties refused to be transported to King Drew Hospital, scene of the recent Kerry Latino Riot.

In a related story, the two patients bitten by police dogs at King Drew Hospital during the SWAT team assault provoked by Senator Kerry's use of gang hand signals at a Latino club appeared on Larry King Live, Oprah, Hardball, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Conan O'Brien and on the Jerry Springer Show. They have publicly challenged Senator Kerry to take the painful series of rabies shots they are forced to take as a sign of sympathy for their situation that he caused. Aids to Senator Kerry say he will consider their request but thought he had received rabies shots in Viet Nam when he was bitten by an aggressive gecko.

Senator Kerry later apologized for the AME choir incident and said he was pleased it did not result in a riot like the Latino incident. Senator Kerry will now move on to other minority communities.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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