Los Angeles - (Arson Mess): Grandiose plans to bury Michael Jackson's corpse next to notorious Hollywood outdoor lavatory attendant 'W C' Fields lie in ruins this weekend.
Joe and Katherine Jackson had earmarked the vacant Forest Lawn cemetery plot that lies nestled against a mausoleum containing Errol Flynn's fabled 12-inch penis.
However a fatal July 4th mortuary tragedy involving 20 gallons of José Cuervo embalming fluid and a smouldering cigarette butt soon scuppered that idea.
Jackson's corpse caught fire soon after an enormous belch of methane escaped from one of his bodily cavities.
Two morticians ended up asphyxiated during what LAPD sources have desacribed an unscheduled Independence Day slab hop-on from the rear.
Lucille Ball, Liberace, Cubby Broccoli and other notables are all intrerred at the Glendale bonepark.