Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 August 2009

image for Burger Restaurant vs. The 6-Month-Old Shoeless Baby
The Burger King Whopper Burger that Mrs. Frederich never got.

SUNSET HILLS, Missouri - Both combatants in The Battle of The Burger Wars between Burger King vs. McDonald's have called a temporary halt to their 'fast food fighting.'

McDonald's has called a truce because their soldiers (employees) can not stop laughing. It seems that a Burger King in Sunset Hills, Missouri has taken the 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service' policy a little bit too far.

Jennifer Frederick entered the BK Restaurant with her mother and her little six-month old baby daughter, Kaylin. After placing her order, the employee behind the counter, 15-year-old Felicia Barnwell called the manager over.

Restaurant manager Teddy Woolpopper told Mrs. Frederick that she would have to leave the restaurant because her baby was not wearing any shoes.

"Excuse me." Mrs. Frederick remarked.

"Ah ma'am please take your shoeless baby and leave my restaurant at once."

"Hey Sherlock, it's a six-month old baby. She doesn't have any shoes. I have money, but a six-month old baby does not wear shoes."

"My name is not Sherlock. My name is Teddy. And ma'am we at this highly respected establishment have a strict code of 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service."

Mrs. Frederick told the manager that her baby's feet were cleaner than the faces of most of his employees.

Woolpopper became upset. He told her that he resented her making that remark because his restaurant has a strict policy that states that all employees except for the assistant manager and the manager must go into the restroom and wash their faces at least once every 45 minutes.

Mrs. Frederick reached down and picked up a ketchup packet. She opened it and she spread the entire ketchup contents all over Kaylin's little bitty tiny left foot.

She then stuck Kalin's foot in her mouth and licked all the ketchup off. "See, her foot is clean. And it is so darn clean that I can freakin' eat off of it."

"Leave! Leave now before I call the police!"

"Hey Paris, don't go gettin' your panties all in a wad."

"Madam. I am a man. I do not wear panties. I wear Fruit of the Looms."

"Well, I'll say you sure do have the fruit part right alright."

"Gooooooo!"

"Alright, Repunsel. That's a great idea. I'll just get my order to Gooooooo!"

"Leave you fat, dumb, ugly, argumentative beeach!"

"Look Peter Pan, I may be dumb, ugly, and an argumentative beeach, but I ain't fat."

"Leeeeeeave!"

"I'm leavin' but I'm callin' CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, XYZ, The BBC, YouTube, Twitter, eBay, Fox, President Barry Obama, Opera Winshield, Beyonce, Sarah Palin, Helen DeGenerator, and the NAACP."

"The NACCP?...But YOU'RE white!"

"They don't knows that, Cinderella."

SIDENOTE: Mrs. Fredrick, her mom, and little six-month-old Kaylin left Burger King and went down the street to a McDonald's. While in line, the store manager came out and started tickling little Kaylin's feet. Kaylin started laughing so hard that she peed. The manager had one of his employees mop up the pee and he gave Kaylin a free Happy Meal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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