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Friday, 7 August 2009

image for Kevin Skinner To Tour With Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez
Miley Cyrus shown rehearsing the Kanye West song 'Love Lockdown Ho."

NASHVILLE - Kevin Skinner's manager, Sharon Osbourne, has just announced the upcoming Chicken Catcher Henhouse Tour.

Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne said that the 42-city tour is being put on by her husband's production company, The Bats Out of Hell Entertainment Production Company.

Lady Osbourne said that Miley Cyrus's manager Ian Luxxlunn first approached her about combining a new male country music performer with a fairly new young female country music performer and two young female pop music performers.

He said that the country music mixed with pop music would make an interesting concept combining the world of cornbread with the world of Egg McMuffins. Luxxlunn said that no concert promoter has of yet tried it.

He did say that last year Rascal Flatts was going to tour with Amy Winehouse but Amy failed to attend the meeting at which the contract was to have been signed.

Ms. Winehouse told a representative for Rascal Flatts that she took a little bit longer at the hair salon than she expected.

Apparently there was a problem with her beehive hairdo.
The hair stylist was sworn to secrecy but since Winehouse only tipped her two dollars she went ahead and revealed the fact that Winehouse's beehive hairdo had some honey that had spoiled and the 45 minute job turned into a three hour job.

The Chicken Catcher Henhouse Tour will feature new found singing sensation "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner who will be doing Garth Brooks' cover songs.

Three of the Garth Brooks songs that Skinner will be singing include "Friends In Ho Places," "I Bought Her A Cow For Her Birthday, But She Said That She Would Have Preferred A Cotton Dress," and "The Bitches of Cheyenne."

The tour's promoter Sherman Oldcastle said that this concert tour is going to be different from any other in that each performer will be singing songs by other well-established performers.

Miley Cyrus will be singing songs by her second most favorite black singer of all time Kanye West. Selena Gomez will be singing songs by 83-year-old Tony Bennett.

And Taylor Swift will be doing songs by her Aunt Magnolia "Gingham Gal" Scudder's favorite 70s band Creedence Clearwater Revival.

When asked if he didn't think that this was perhaps a somewhat risky gamble Oldcastle simply replied "No."

He then went on to say that people want to hear their favorite singing stars do songs by other people rather than doing their same old songs which everybody has already heard them do 2,150 times.

Oldcastle said that the people who visit his blog entitled, Oldcastle's New Time Bull Sheet have said that they can hardly wait to hear Miley Cyrus singing songs by Kanye West.

He added that it will be unusual and actually fun to hear little Miley Cyrus singing words and phrases that usually only hip hop artists use such as ho, yo, mofo, bitch, Afro picks, police, slut, axing, basketball, food stamps, Cadillac, NBA, black box, paternity test, Kenya, Kobe Bryant, booty, NFL, black market, the New Orleans Saints, NAACP, and bling-bling.

Taylor Swift will be covering songs done by the legendary Tony Bennett. She will start off with his all-time classic, "I Left My Heart In San Quentin," followed by "Fly Me To The Friggin' Moon First Class," and "I Kissed My Gal On The Mouth And Now I Taste Like A Damn Marlboro Light."

Seventeen year old Selena Gomez will be doing songs by 70s icon band Creedence Clearwater Revival including "Fortunate Sunshine," "Down On The Damn Corner," and "The Ballsy Ballad Of The Cross Dressing Plumber."

Miley Cyrus will be closing out the show singing songs by Kanye West including "Love Lockdown Ho," "See You In My Nightmares Bitch," and "The Crazy-Ass Ho She Be Strung Out On The Flo(or) With A Crack Popsicle For Sho."

The tour will kickoff in Greensboro, North Carolina at the Greensboro Green Garden Arena on September 7. And it will conclude in Bowling Green, Kentucky at the Bowling Green Green Coliseum on October 20.

Tickets can be purchased on line through Ticket-Mistress and are priced at $143.71, $144.28, and $144.83, and that includes tax, handling charges, and a $2 donation to President Barack Obama's Stimulus Package Fund.

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