Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 5 August 2009

image for Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 Wants To Meet "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner
Kate Gosselin shown relaxing out by the pool while the eight kids are all taking a nap.

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin confided to one of her best friends Jenna Lambrusco that she would love to meet Kevin Skinner.

Skinner who is a contestant on America's Got Talent is one of the favorites to win the show's top prize of $1 million.

The Mayfield, Kentucky native reportedly told one of the AGT producers that he thinks that Kate Gosselin is one sure fine lookin' little gal that he would love to take out for a night of dinin', drinkin', dancin', and some kissin'.

He added that he had seen her on her TV show and she was wearing a little bitty orange bikini swimsuit. He said that within three seconds he suddenly got all kinds of fun feelings down in his britches-region.

Skinner quickly added that although he has a girlfriend back in Kentucky, she and him do have what he calls a hillbilly understandin'.

The producer asked him to explain and Kevin said, "Well sir, you know a hillbilly understandin' is one where's a man, and that be me, can go out and, you know traipse all over the cornfield with some neighbor gal or any other gal for that matter, with the, you know understandin' that as long as he don't cause his poking stick to, you know put a biscuit in the poked gal's oven it'll all be fine and dandy and it'll all just, you know come out in the wash, you know."

The producer asked Kevin if his girlfriend was okay with this so called 'hillbilly understandin'?"

Skinner replied that she was. He said that Wanda Sue being a hillbilly and all, she knows pert well exactly how the cornbread crumbles all over the picnic basket.

When Kate Gosselin was asked if she would agree to go out on a date with Kevin Skinner, she smiled and said, "Ya know, I think that I would like that. I really and truly do.

Kate said that ever since Jon had dumped her ass (rumpus delecti) and gone off gallivanting with various girls all over Europe she has done nothing but watch the kids, feed the kids, bathe the kids, and play with the kids.

She added that she is a darn good, dedicated, and devoted mother who stays home with the eight kids while her damn good-for-nothin' N*rth K*rean husband goes off painting the town red with sexy, hot-lapped young little tramps with firm, pert, nubile sweater bullets ten years younger than hers.

Kate got a great big smile on her face. She took a big long sip from her Pina Colada and said, "Kevin Skinner. Hell yes! I'll go out with Kevy. You tell that gorgeous-looking, macho stud chicken-catching singer that Kate aka "Bikini Mama" is waiting"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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