NASHVILLE, TN-A flight attendant and one passenger aboard Pentacle Air Flight 69 were slightly injured when the plane encountered severe "turbulence," Tuesday evening, during its approach to the Big Boobies Airstrip. "I'm not exactly certain what happened; but it wasn't our fault," said Jag Doft, CEO of Pentacle Air.
TheSpoof.com obtained an exclusive interview with two, uninjured passengers whose names were not revealed. "I heard this great, loud, tearing kind of noise, then a brown cloud filled up the plane and a horrible stench caused several passengers to puke," said one.
The other unidentified passenger, Anne Noid, told TheSpoof, "We were served pinto beans, fried taters and onions, a slab of ham, and corn bread for lunch. It was a little over an hour later that we heard a loud noise coming from the cockpit. Then the plane nose-dived, and several people got throwed outta their seats."
Flight Attendant Joan Ofarc, was badly injured when her head struck the ceiling of the plane. She remains hospitalized in "serious but stable" condition. The injured passenger suffered a "dislocated penis," stated Big Boobies Medical Center Public Relations Officer, Mel Town. "Apparently, the injured flight attendant was assisting the passenger with a 'stuck' zipper," Town said.
John Smith, an investigator for the NSTB, told reporters, "They shouldn't serve pinto beans on long flights. We have warned them over and over again," he said. "But if they're going to serve beans, they should treat them with Beano™. When turbulence is caused by flatulence, an incident is imminent."