Written by Liam_1959
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Topics: Marriage, Mexico

Wednesday, 14 July 2004

By Davido Devadip Espinosa Mexico City AP,
Special Correspondent

Phoenix - The Senate decided to set up road blocks, banning gay marriage. Pleas from President Bush and fellow conservatives to safeguard the gay institution that has flourished for thousands of years went unheeded.

The first road block was put up on US I-10, outside Phoenix Arizona. Angry motorists discovered it had been nailed there, after they tried to move it with their pickup trucks.

"I would argue that the future of our country hangs in the balance because the future of balance hangs in the country," said Sen. Sunny Sanatorium. Sen. Sanatorium is not a real Senator, but a mental patient who emails his opinions to this newspaper from the County Nervous Hospital.

But Senate Democratic Leader Tommy Dashing said there was no "urgent need" to destroy the highways of America because of gays and lesbians. "Marriage is a sacred union and an institution". "That ideal should not cause congestion on our highways and byways". "Americans believe they'll be able to go to work and get there on time and it's what I believe".

"In South Dakota, we've never had a single road block over same sex marriage and we won't have any", he said. "It's prohibited by South Dakota law as it is now in 38 other states".

Some supporters conceded they would fail to win, but went ahead with the destruction of concrete pillars, metal road guards and assorted light poles. "I think it's going to slow traffic down to a crawl", said one man who asked not to be identified.

Whatever its future in the Capital, there were signs that supporters of the ban intended to road block the White House. Mary Franklin-Rose, a staunch supporter of ‘All Things Right and Proper', lamented, "It's just a crying shame that people of the same sex want to have sex with each other". Ms. Franklin-Rose then spat on the sidewalk in disgust. "I know what we're doing is right. I just hope President Dubya can leave after he gets off work today".

"Gay marriage is under fire from extremist groups in Wilmington, grossly overweight politicians, and even bald headed judges, who have made it clear that they are willing to run over anyone who stands in their way", sings senatorial hopeful J.C. Thubnower in a radio commercial airing across the U.S. . "We threw tea overboard in Massachusetts and we'll set up road blocks here too". Thubnower's jingle is now available on CD, with a DVD planned for the fall.

When the common man in the street was interviewed, he offered this opinion: "Hell, I'se gots me a dirt bike, so I'se can ride anywhur I'se wants to". Apparently, this common man did not complete his O levels.

The Democrats have opposed the use of road blocks. "Well, the main reason is, it is our prerogative", stated one Democratic Aide. ‘Mainly we just like to use the word prerogative, I mean…like wow! How often can you use that word"?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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