Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 5 August 2009

image for Bill Clinton and Kim Jong Il - New BFF's!
This is a photo of the missile that Kim Jong Il launched towards Jupiter. Using the U.S. name and insignia is illegal.

PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Il, president of North Korea met with former President Bill Clinton and he has agreed to pardon the two American journalists who had been sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean prison.

Kim Jong Il said that Hillary's husband is a nice guy, tall, and funny as the dick [EDITOR'S NOTE: I think that Kim Jong Il really meant to say 'dickens.']

The North Korean leader told the assembled media, "I have to say that I did not like George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, or even that skinny little black lady, her name escapes me at the moment, I think it was Condiments - no I remember now, it was Condominium Rice, yeah that's it.

And being North Korean, I have to say that I did love her last name, of course, but the woman herself was kind of conceited, aloof, and she kind of reminded me of a young Oprah Winfrey, but without all of the, what's the word, oh yes, fat.

Kim Jong Il said that he hit it off right away with Bill Clinton. He said that Billy boy gave him copies of three of Jackie Chan's early movies; The Iron Fists and Feet of Ping Pong - The Dragonboy, The Chinese Fire Drill Part II, and Shanghai On $9 A Day.

The North Korean leader said that when he first met Clinton he told him that he was so very tall and that it was to bad he was not black so he could play in the NBA. Clinton told him that there were white players in the NBA.

Kim Jong Il replied that he had never seen any. He added that he was a fan of the New Orleans Saints and that they do not have any white players.

Clinton smiled and told him that they did have one, Peja Stojakovic. Kim Jong Il replied, "Well, I think that he may be half black."

"No, he was born in Yugoslavia." Clinton remarked.

"Well...then I think that he is married to a black woman."

"No sir."

"You know what Billy boy, you are starting to piss me up (off) here. Maybe I change my frickin' oriental mind and lock the two girls' asses back up in prison."

"You know Kimmy, my fine little rice pudding pal. Now that you mention it, I do believe that Peja Stojakovic is black, yes I believe he was born in Harlem, New York."

"Thank you Billy boy. You are Kim Jong Il's new BFF."

"Well thank you so much my little puffed rice chump."

"Chump? What is this word mean, this word chump?"

"Kimster the word chump is derived from the Portuguese word chumpadufus meaning, good looking dude with the even 'gooder' looking hairdo."

"Okay, Billy boy, you-are-da-man! And back at ya, and back to the future, and I have your back, and back in the saddle again."

"Gotcha my little good lookin' rice krispie."

"Oh and Billy boy one more thing, be sure and give that sexy blonde wife of yours Hillary a great big kiss on the mouth from me."

"Ah, the cheek will do fine, thank you Kim."

SIDENOTE: Former President Clinton asked for and was given a tour of the facility that houses the North Korean missile system. Clinton laughed and said that it amounted to one U Stor' and Lock storage unit which had two missiles inside. Both missiles were still in the boxes and there were instruction booklets, pamphlets, and manuals scattered all about the floor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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