Scientists conducting a preliminary survey of more than 200 Neanderthal cave paintings discovered on the walls of Nancy Pelosi's vagina found the mummified remains of a man, shortly after midnight, Tuesday, August 4th. The FBI positively identified the remains as those of former Teamster's President Jimmy Hoffa.
The body of the missing Teamster was found early Tuesday morning by a graduate student looking for firewood with which to cook the team's breakfast.
Hoffa disappeared from the parking lot outside the Machus Red Fox Restaurant in Bloomfield Township, Michigan, on June 30, 1975. The man who had made the Teamsters the most formidable labor union in the country, was said to be pacing back and forth, angrily looking for his luncheon date who had not yet appeared for their 2:00 p.m. meeting.
The Special Agent in Charge of the 34-year-old investigation into Hoffa's disappearance, Ron Paul XIX, told reporters, "The FBI knew Hoffa was offed by the Mob. We've checked high and low for his body. To think it was buried in Ms. Pelosi's vagina for nearly 35 years is too much to comprehend, well almost."
Coincidentally, it is Agent Ron Paul XIX's brother, Cultural Anthropologist Ron Paul XVIII, who heads up the scientific team that discovered the mummified remains.
"How poetic," the scientist told TheSpoof.com by telephone, "A mummy buried inside a mummy. You just can't make this shit up, you know!"