Bill Clinton has been making the most of his time in North Korea negotiating for the release of two US journalists.
Due to the news blackout in force by the secretive regime in Pyongyang, noone has heard of the philandering former president, nor of his chapter with the "lovely" Monica Lewinsky.
"This means I have a whole nation of young women just waiting to have the benefit of my charming personality, who I can share a cigar with." He nudged and winked to this website.
"I mean it's only fair. Here I am doing Hilary's job for her, and for which I am not getting paid. I might as well make the best of it and try and get laid." He griined - "Hey that rhymes"
"I mean it's no fun at home any more." He went on, needlessly. "Hilary spends all her time looking at the pictures of the White House in our flat, crying and screaming and saying stuff like 'should have been me, should have been me.' I said to her, look - I'll do a bit of high profile, international hostage negotiation for you whilst you just chill for a bit. I was being nice. Anyway, I am off to acquaint myself with the some local delicacies"
With that he got up and packed a monstrous Cuban cigar into his jacket. "I'd love to see the virgin who rolled this baby" He said - the scamp.