Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Barack Obama, Beer

Monday, 3 August 2009

image for Brobama Beer Is Here!
The first can of Brobama Beer produced at The Lake Michigan Beer Brewing Brewery.

MILWAUKEE - The Lake Michigan Beer Brewing Company of Wisconsin has just held a press conference to announce its latest beer product, Brobama Beer named after the nation's first black/white president.

The idea first came to Lake Michigan Beer Brewing Company CEO Menachem Maltowitz when he saw a video of the "White House Beer Summit" with President Obama, Vice-President Joe Biden, Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, and Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley.

He saw that the "Beer Buddies" were having a great time talking about baseball, basketball, football, and Angelina Jolie's luscious lips while each was partaking of the alcoholic beverage of his choice.

Maltowitz knew that the president was drinking Bud Light, so he figured that he would approach him about developing his own personal brand of Presidential Beer.

Maltowitz noted that back in 1977, then President Jimmy Carter's brother Billy had, had a beer developed with his name. And for about six months Billy Beer was actually outselling Budweiser, Coors, and Schlitz combined.

So Maltowitz had his chief brewmaster Keith Cuyahoga, 74, develop a specially made beer for the president. Cuyahoga, set about establishing a beer product that blended 50 percent black barley with 50 percent white hops.

He then added the best and freshest ingredients known in the beer industry such as six-year aged sorghum from Sweden, highly condensed Colombian carrageenan as a clarifying agent, imported Sicilian twice-boiled brewer's yeast mash, and vitamin-enriched beer suds from Dublin.

After conducting dozens of what the beer industry calls sippin' and tastin' tests, the presidential beer was now ready.

When Maltowitz first approached the president, he said that the nation's 'Main Bro' was actually somewhat skeptical about having his own brand of beer.

He said that he felt that the voters would look upon him as being a highly educated, somewhat rich, good-looking, conceited bro.

Maltowitz again asked the president point blank if he would agree to have his name on the label of a beer that his chief brewmaster had developed especially for him.

"Nope." The president said.

"It'll be a big seller, Mr. President."

"Nope."

"Mr. President sir, I can guarantee that my company will pay you $10 million a year."

"Whoa, say what? Excuse me there brother, Malty, my new BJFF (Best Jewish Friend Forever) did you say that you would pay me $10 million a year?"

"Yes sir Mr. President and that is at least $10 million."

"Malty, my man. Where the hell do I frickin' sign?"

SIDENOTE: President Obama conferred with his wife and they agreed that they would donate a portion of his yearly proceeds to help some of the big corporate executives make their monthly payments so that they would not lose their Rolls Royce's, Bentley's, and yachts.

The president agreed to have the following notation appear on each bottle and can of Brobama Beer:

This beer was brewed especially for me. As most of you voters know by now your brand new president loves drinking beer. It makes me feel good. It makes me sing good. And it makes me dance good. Plus the "First Mama," my Michelle says that when I'm holding a bottle of Brobama Beer in my presidential hand, it makes me look like Denzel Washington...and that my fellow hard-workin' beer-drinkin' Americans is what your hard-workin' beer-drinkin' president is talkin' about. Enjoy, ya here.
Love Always,
President Barack Obama (aka Brobama)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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