In a daring cooperative sweep, federal law enforcement today moved to stamp out the corruption endemic in the state of NJ by arresting everyone.
Honoring human values, children below the age of six will not be scared straight at Rahway State Prison immediately. Rather, they will instead be housed in group homes for periods not to exceed three years or until they become old enough to face their day with the general prison population.
Stating that the mass arrests were made necessary by the level of corruption in the state, spokesman for the governors of New York, Connecticut and Pennsylvania hailed the law enforcement effort as a banner day for honest citizens everywhere.
Arrested persons are assumed to be innocent until proven otherwise; however, they will be well advised to keep their mouths shut about out-of-state colleagues if they know what is good for them.