Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 3 August 2009

image for Surprise! President Obama Turns 48
The White House, site of President Barack Obama's 48th birthday party.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The nation's 'First Mama' aka Michelle Obama is throwing her husband, the 'Main Bro' a surprise birthday party to be held at the White House's Rose Garden, which is also now known as The Beer Buddies Bar.

The president will be 48 on August 4. Mrs. Obama has asked close friends Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce, Ellen DeGeneres, Cloris Leachman, and Condoleezza Rice to help her with the surprise birthday party plans.

Beyonce is in charge of inviting the musical guests. Ellen will be in charge of inviting the comical guests, Cloris will be in charge of inviting the old guests, and Condi will be in charge of inviting the non-singing, non-comedic, non-old black guests.

Miss O, aka Oprah Winfrey, will be in charge of paying for the whole shindig, jamboree, fandango, whoop-de-do, fiesta (pick one).

The birthday celebration is being catered by Wynonna Judd's catering company, The Food Be Me And Lots Of It Food Catering Cuisine Company.

Mrs. Obama said that lately her and Barry (her pet nickname for her hubby) have gotten into country music so she asked Oprah to book their favorite country music singer George Strait.

Unfortunately Strait is already booked that night and will be performing at Cattle Drive Ramrod Rodrigo's Red Sawdust Saloon in Pipe Creek, Texas.

The 'First Mama's" next choice was the very pretty and talented white as cotton Carrie Underwood. But sad to say little Carrie is currently out on the Indian Ocean on board the Aircraft Carrier The USS American Woman entertaining the sailors.

Winfrey had no luck with Michelle's third, fourth, and fifth choices; Brooks and Dunn, Sarah Evans, and Taylor Swift.

Brooks and Dunn are currently on a goodwill tour over in Iraq, Ms. Evans is getting her tonsils removed at The St. Sunday Hoedown Hospital in Satsuma, Alabama, and Taylor Swift will be performing in Pascagoula, Mississippi for the grand opening of the newest Captain Cluckity Cluckity Hand-Tossed Chicken Wings-To-Go.

So Oprah ended up hiring the Dixie Chicks. Winfrey said that she was surprised to learn that this Houston-based female trio which once earned as much as $40,000 per concert now get $85 an hour. Miss O said she booked them to play from 8 pm to midnight for $340.

One note of interest. Michelle Obama said that the president of Mexico Nacho Winslow, who will be attending, has donated two pinatas for the birthday bash.

The first one is a life-size pinata replica of Lou Dobbs, who is the most hated man in Mexico. The second is a life-size pinata replica of the most hated man in America, Rush Limbaugh.

Oprah was asked who some of the surprise birthday party guests will be.

She smiled and said that they have invited a total of 700 guests and 699 have RSVPed that they will be attending. She said that the only person who will not be attending is Sarah Palin who is still holding press conference after press conference denying the rumors that her and Todd are getting a divorce.

Oprah did say that some of the people who are on the list of people who will be attending, what she refers to as "Brobama's 48th," include Joan and Melissa Rivers, Neil Young, Anderson Cooper, and Manny Ramirez.

Plus four members of the NBA world champion Los Angeles Lakers (three starters and a bench player), Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant, Adam Lambert, football quarterback Brett Favre (retired? unretired? [pick one]), Tatiana Del Toro, and from America's Got Talent "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner.

And last minute additions include Chaz Bono, Danica Patrick, Vice President and Mrs. Joe Biden, and Glocky Poo Royalwood, lead singer for the fantastic British band, Glocky Poo & The Global Warming Bitches of Bristol.

SIDENOTE: Oprah Winfrey was told by Michelle Obama that in lieu of bringing presents for her husband, who already pretty much has everything, she would like for the guests to make cash donations to the president's favorite Internet satirical site, The Spoof which President Obama says that he and Joe read first thing every morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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