Written by Adam Click
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Sunday, 2 August 2009

image for Bait Shop Holds Take a Kid Fishing Day
Capt. Ed advises: " Don't let the big un's get away. Use only lively kids as bait!"

San Francisco, CA.-The Fulton Street Bait Shop, located on the fishing pier at Harbor Point, is holding it's annual "Take a Kid Fishing Day" sale this coming Saturday. There will be lots of eager children just waiting for the chance to catch that big fish, so Capt. Ed recommends coming early for the best selection.

"Naturally, you'll want to use the most eager kids first, as they promise the most action for the buck. Later on, when things slow down a little, you can switch to a more lazy child if you want. I would use a fifty pound test line with a large treble-pronged hook. Lace one hook through the kid's life vest and leave the other two bare. Cast the kid upon the water and then pull the boat away as fast as possible."

Captain Ed recommends you go a good one hundred yards be fore you cut the engines and start drifting. "Most kids can't swim that well and getting that far away almost guarantees that they won't get back to the boat. A poor fisherman would try and knock the child unconscious first, but that means you have to provide the action that attracts the fish. Plus, the child might drown before you catch anything. Very wasteful."

Kids range in price from fifty to one hundred dollars each, with smaller children fetching the higher prices. "Older children tend to be more leery." Says Capt. Ed, "Especially after the second or third cast. And while an older child may provide a little more action, it's not the kind of action that would attract a fish."

For these and other tips on taking a kid fishing, visit Capt. Ed at The Fulton Street Bait Shop before the sale, or join him on his charter trips from 9:00-12:00 noon, and 2:00-6:00 P.M.. But you better hurry because space on both trips is limited.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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