Written by Don Fulsom
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Topics: Michael Jackson

Saturday, 1 August 2009

A poll by federal drug officials shows abuse of the powerful anesthetic propofol rising dramatically among Michael Jackson enthusiasts.

The "King of Pop" died after having a live-in, $150,000-a-month cardiologist pop the dangerous medication into his blood stream.

The poll, by the DEA, shows thefts of propofol from hospitals and pharmacies up 53% in the wake of Jackson's death. The theft of oxygen tanks is up by the same amount. Oxygen must be administered to any snoozer on propofol.

President Blackie White of the National Jackson Fan Club says, "If you want to emulate your hero, you've got to try to experience the same thrills he did. I'm now convinced that propofol was secretly what Michael's wonderful 'Thriller' album was all about."

Propofol is commonly used for surgery, and is not meant as a sleep agent or to be given in private homes.

"The heck with the experts," White declared, adding, "I took it by just shooting myself up in my own Jackson memorabilia-filled den. The initial rush-plus the deep refreshing slumber-leaves me feeling totally positive about propofol abuse."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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