Chemists called to the White House to test the composition of sludge in Michelle Obama's organic garden have discovered that it is human feces dating to the Clinton Administration. The First Lady was attempting to grow a true, organic garden and was not intending to use any natural fertilizers.
When told about the make up of the "manure," Michelle was naturally upset. "What the hell do you expect from people from Arkansas? Don't they have indoor plumbing down there? Did Bill do Monica between the rows of corn and then take a dump and fertilize while he was at it?"
"Barack named that woman Secretary of State. Maybe he should have combined the Departments of Defense and Education and made her the Secretary of Defaction!"
The Obama children were quick to request permission to leave the dinner table early and not eat their vegetables."