Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 2 August 2009

image for "The Beer Summit Four" To Film A Beer Commercial
A Coors Beer Company helicopter delivering beer to The Cold As Hell Bar & Grill located at the top of Pikes Peak.

NEW YORK CITY - President Barack Obama, Vice-President Joe Biden, Professor Henry Louis Gates, and Police Officer James Crowley have all agreed to film a beer commercial for Coors Light Beer.

The gentlemen known collectively as "The Beer Summit Four" were all approached by The Alpine Advertising Agency of Staten Island.

Alpine representative Cinderella Sungate is the agent who is working "The Beer Summit Four" account. She stated that even though none of the four beer drinkers had chosen Coors Light as their beer summit beverage of choice, the Golden, Colorado-based beer giant easily outbid Bud Light, Blue Moon, Red Stripe, and Bucklers for the right to put them in their commercial.

And so the four "Beer Buddies" will soon film a one minute Coors Light commercial that will air during the Major League Baseball World Series in October.

Sungate stated that the commercial will be shot on location up on Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs. She added that the commercial calls for "The Beer Summit Four" to play 1880s beaver trappers who get stranded up on the 14,110 foot Pikes Peak and survive by drinking Coors Light Beer.

Ms. Sungate stated that the Coors Company will be paying the four 'beaver trappers' a professional service fee of $2 million each.

The commercial will be filmed by the foremost beer drinking commercial director in the United States, Lazlo Fiorello Amaretto.

Mr. Amaretto has won numerous awards for his excellent depiction of beer drinkers in action. Last year his Lowenbrau Beer commercial which featured three elderly women at a senior citizens home pole dancing won him The Prestigious Rosario Catchpenny Hops, Barley, and Malt Award for its creative use of bottled beer, elderly females, and of course that infamous dancer's pole.

This year The American Spanish-Speaking Beer Drinkers Federation has nominated Amaretto for The Coveted Cervezita Award for his hilarious tongue-in-cheek Corona Light commercial in which six gorgeously sexy Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are suddenly transformed into six gorgeously sexy female Mexican bullfighters in a sold out bullring down in Durango, Mexico.

Amaretto not only makes commercials about beer, he is also one heck of a beer drinker himself. At last year's Annual Brewski Commercials Award Show, which was held down in Guadalajara, Mexico, Amaretto personally put away 12 Lowenbrau's during the two hour show.

Unfortunately he was later arrested and charged with driving while under the influence. Sadly due to a red tape mix up, he ended up spending four days in the Guadalajara jail where he says he quickly learned three things. (1) Do not stand up for any reason. (2) Do not badmouth the sport of bullfighting. And (3) Do not utter the phrase, "What Mexican food again?"

SIDENOTE: President Obama said that he will be donating his $2 million fee to the United States Treasury to be put into The Stimulus Package Fund.

Vice-President Biden said he will use his money to buy round trip train tickets from Washington D.C. to his Delaware home.

Professor Henry Louis Gates said that he will be donating $500 to his Neighborhood Watch Program and that he also plans on buying Boston Celtic season tickets.

And as for Sgt. James Crowley he thought about it for a while and said that he is planning on buying his very own police car.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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