Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 31 July 2009

image for Sarah Palin Invites "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner To Visit Alaska
Ex-Governor Sarah Palin out in her front yard looking for the snow plow keys which she dropped.

WASILLA, Alaska - The former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has invited America's Got Talent contestant Kevin Skinner to visit Alaska.

Palin recently called Skinner and told him that she enjoyed watching him sing and that she really and truly feels in her moose-hunting gut that he has a great chance of winning all the marbles.

Skinner remarked that he would certainly appreciate winning all the marbles but he would much rather like to have the $1 million.

Palin laughed. She told him that one of the reasons that she liked him so much was because he reminded her a lot of her husband Todd.

She said that like Todd he loves country music. Like Todd he wears his baseball cap backwards. And that like Todd he thinks that she is just the prettiest thing to come out of Alaska since Exxon-Mobil oil.

The ex-governor said that now that she is no longer the governor she has a lot of free time on her hands.

She stated that she knows how much he loves hunting and she told him that when the America's Got Talent competition is over that she will pay for a plane ticket for him to fly out from his old Kentucky home to her home in Wasilla.

Kevin asked if he could bring along his girlfriend Wanda Sue.

Palin replied, "Of course. It will be perfect. Ya know that way she can help my oldest daughter Bristol take care of the three younger kids and our grand baby Trigg while you and I are out in the great wild, white wilderness stalkin', shootin', and skinnin', big old animals.

Skinner said that he can hardly wait. Sarah said that she was also really looking forward to it more than he could ever know. She then confided in him that Todd hardly goes hunting with her anymore.

She said that lately he just spends all of his free time attending snowmobile races and fishing for salmon.

"Snowflake" as the 'Lower 48' media dubbed Palin confided to Kevin that Todd just does not satisfy her big game hunting needs anymore.

She went on and said that there is an emptiness inside her that craves to be sitting out on a deer blind, in freezing below zero weather, literally freezing her cute little Alaskan buns off just waiting for a four-legged creature to saunter by so that she can blast the everlivin' daylights out of it.

Palin said that she yearns to have her hunting needs fulfilled. Kevin smiled and told her, "Miss Sarah, I sure a shootin' reckon that I can downright fulfill your hunting needs without a doubt."

Sarah got a twinkle in her eye, smiled that librarian smile and said, "Gotcha". She told Kev to be sure and call her as soon as the America's Got Talent competition ends.

He smiled that good old Southern boy smile and said, "I'll sure do it. And if I may, ma'am I just want to say that I think that you is as pretty as an early autumn Kentucky sunset."

"Thank you Kevin...I know. And please call me Snowflake.

"I'll sure do it ma'am, I mean Snowflake."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ex-Governor Palin still insists that her husband Todd and his new BFF, the gorgeously good-looking, 27-year-old salmon fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka are just good sports buddies.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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