Written by Hoskinator
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Topics: Madonna

Thursday, 30 July 2009

image for Madonna's biceps won't stop growing
Madonna reaches out

Madonna revealed a shocking revelation today when she told a chat show host she had bicepitis and her biceps will one day become so muscularly they will consume her body sometime in 2015. On a scale of arm sizes it is reported by 2010 Madonna will have biceps the size of Tom Cruise, 2012 she will have arms the size of Sly Stallone and by 2014 she will have biceps bigger than the world's strongest man.

Madonna was unable to hide the disease any longer after a number of newspapers had commented on the size of her biceps and there increasing size over the years. It is widely believed with Madonna outing the disease and in some people's eyes making the disease cool, we will now have a spat of celebrity diseases entering the already overcrowded disease market. Since revealing she has been suffering from the disease, outbreaks of bicepitis have been appearing all round the world, making it more contagious than swine flu despite bicepitis being a hereditary disease. Doctors are baffled to the increase in the disease in which they only diagnosed and named early this year.

A spokesman for the arm wrestling association Chuck Andrews said he was delighted with the news "this should give the much maligned sport of arm wrestling a shot in the arm, Madonna in a few years with her bicep size could be a real force in the sport, if we can get her on board we should see a real groundswell in support for the sport not seen since Sly Stallone starred in Over the Top"

Justin Timberlake is on the verge of announcing his head is shrinking by a cm a year and will hit medical "pin head" status later this year. Miley Cyrus is due to go into rehabilitation over a serious and life threatening case of smugness. Paris Hilton on the other hand has confounded doctors after a series of tests have shown her not to have any medical need to keep displaying herself naked on the camera, Paris is now rumoured to have sought advice from Demi Moore who went through a similar case in the 1990's before having a breakdown and is currently enjoying her "dating a man far too young for her" phase.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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