WASHINGTON, D.C., USA "Cash-for-Clits", the "fleet modernization" bill that was designed to replace old, tired hookers with new, fresh ones that need less lube, practice safer sex and are less polluted was expected to give the struggling sex industry a sales boost.
Proponents had claimed that the bill would "jump-start sex sales and the U.S. economy, while also providing environmental benefits and increasing homeland security".
On the other hand, those opposed to the bill claim it "aims primarily to clear Detroit's unsold inventory from the storage lots".
Under the rules of the program, pimps were allowed to trade in their older ladies of the night, who were supposed to be recycled down to Mexico for the famous donkey shows there.
In turn, the pimps were given a credit voucher to apply towards the trade in value of a fresh young replacement who would be logically expected to generate much more revenue.
Problems "arouse" when it was revealed that the pimps had become involved in an international buy back program with their Mexican counterparts creating an unending stream of used up hookers that the American pimps repeatedly traded in.
Government officials were outraged at the lack of morals on the part of the pimps.
"If you can't trust a ho, who the hell can you trust?", queried a top White House aide, who asked to remain anonymous.