Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: lou dobbs

Thursday, 30 July 2009

image for Lou Dobbs Calls Rachel Maddow "The Tea-Bagging Queen"
Five of the 87 chickens that reside on Lou Dobb's Cluck Cluck Chicken Ranch in New Jersey.

NEW YORK CITY - CNN's Lou "Costello" Dobbs became so angry at political commentator Rachel Maddow for calling him a racist that he called her the reigning tea-bagging queen.

Dobbs referred to the openly gay Maddow as the brunette version of Ann "Trigger" Coulter. He was so incensed at Maddow that he was literally spitting while he was talking to CNN's Wolf Blitzer.

Blitzer finally had to tell Dobbs to basically shut the heck up because he was spitting saliva all over the studio and he had already hit a cameraman, a cue card girl, a security guard, and Anderson Cooper's mom Gloria Vanderbilt who was visiting the studio.

Maddow who is a 36-year-old MSNBC television personality was named "TV's Gayest Gal" last year. She stated that Dobbs, whom she refers to as 'June Cleaver in a suit' is a perfect example of an older man who can sure as hell dish it out, but who cannot take it worth a crybaby's damn.

Maddow added that Lou is also upset with her because she mentioned that he called the president of the United States an 'Undocumented Worker.'

He also called Vice-President Joe Biden a political version of baseball non-hall of famer Bob Uecker.

She confessed that yes she had called Dobbs a 'Wing Nut Racist.' And she said that she wanted to retract that statement and instead call him 'The Pillsbury Doughboy-Looking Wing Nut Racist.'

Maddow said that Dobbs recently told her that she needed to stop acting gay. She responded by telling him that he needed to stop acting fat. She paused and then she said, "Oops it's too late!"

And so the Dobbs vs. Maddow saga will continue until CNN either terminates Dobbs or transfers him down to sunny old, drug-cartel infested Mexico where he can report on subjects like the swine flu, the making and marketing of pinatas, the revitalized maracas industry,* and the favorite toro recipes of The Mexican Matadors Association.

*Which has seen a steady increase in sales due in part to the success of Harrison Ford's latest motion picture entitled, Indiana Jones And The Search For The Multi-Billion Dollar Maracas Drug Cartel.



Paris Hilton was recently asked for her opinion on the sport of NASCAR. She replied that NASCAR is not a sport. When told that it most certainly was she replied, "Okay, smarty pants then where's the ball?"

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 2?

3 8 24 10

Go to top