Philadelphia PA-- The Obama Family will vacation in an exotic location this year--West Philly. President Obama considered Marthas Vineyard, Palm Beach and Maui, but decided they were 'too white.' He also wanted his two kids to experience life the way real people live it. The family will stay in the $10,000 house for the month of August.
The former crackhouse is owned by an African-American congressman who hasn't paid any taxes in thirty years. No work has been done on the house since 1973.
The vacation house comes equipped with many extras. The roof leaks even on sunny days. All the windows are cracked or broken. The toilets haven't worked in years. The basement is filled with 10 feet of black sewage water. You can smell the house from a block away.
The backyard is just waiting for someone with a green thumb. Michelle Obama will have many wonderful hours cleaning out the bags of trash that the previous tenants tossed out the window. The weeds, used condoms and empty crack vials will keep her and the girls busy for days. If they are lucky, they might even find some human remains scattered around the yard.
The Obama Family will especially enjoy the hot, humid Philadelphia nights without air conditioning or electricity. The drive-by shootings, drug dealings and general insanity will be so entertaining for them, they won't even want to sleep.
The relaxing month-long vacation will be a stress-free break, and the family will return to Washington in September with many wonderful stories to share about their unusual experiences in the City of Brotherly Love.