Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for BuckwheatsButt Experiences 4-Hour Erection WITHOUT Male Enhancement Drug!
"Don't you be comin' 'round my house no more," Keyes reportedly told his gay-ass daughter.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - While dropping off his latest spoof about gay-ass fudge packers at the pool, The Spoof's reigning champion of toilet humor reportedly became so aroused, he experienced an erection lasting more than four hours!

Prostate specialists indicated the act of shitting out yet another article about Largis Tryhole may have stimulated "that certain part of the male anatomy," triggering the lengthy (but not long) erection.

"It must have been the vibrations from my hard drive," said the next Alan Keyes in a futile attempt to explain away the microscopic nub that barely managed to peek out from under his thick carpet of pubic hair. "It does that sometimes."

That's probably because his hard drive is literally teeming with stories about gay ass fudge packers, not to mention God only knows what sorts of research files he has on the subject.

Though the weenie is teenie even when fully engorged, so is the spoofer's brain, and many of his fans are understandably concerned the erection may have caused further damage to the organ atrophied from writing so very many clever stories about absolutely nothing; there is currently no other contributor at the site with quite the same flair for shoveling sloppy shit, and his presence among the top writers would be sorely missed.

"He'll be jes' fine," said SFO spoof analyst Nicoretta Jones. "You think he gon' let somethin' like this stop him? Mmm, mmm, honey! Look here: George W. Bush ran the entire country for eight whole years with even less of a brain than that!

"Don't you fret none, child. He pro'bly gon' have a new story 'bout gay ass fudgepackers tomorrow!"

Make The San Francisco Onion's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

8 25 11 4
58 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more