San Francisco, CA-- An unidentified man married a beautiful, juicy turd at City Hall today. The turd was described as 'radiant' and 'joyful' and there were many brown tears of happiness. A last minute attempt to stop the wedding by Republicans and Roman Catholics fell through after President Obama himself gave his nod of approval to the wedding.
The bride wore a chiffon gown with pearls for the romantic wedding. Only a few skid marks were visible in the back. Candles and flowers decorated the non-sectarian, non-paternalistic, non-global warming, non-judgemental, non-materialistic, non-Republican insane ceremony.
Judge Sotomayor came all the way from her kennel in Washington DC to perform the civil ceremony. "It takes a wise Latina to marry a piece of shit." she barked the ugly perra.
Thousands of crazy people attended the ceremony at City Hall, all of them Obamatons. Nancy Pelosi was the matron-of-honour because she always smells like shit.
After the ceremony, Judge Sotomayor and Ms. Pelosi kissed the moist, shiny turd. "We could never do something like this with a Republican in the White House!" said the gruesome twosome as their lips turned brown.
Later that same day, God sent a 9.0 earthquake to flush the extremely evil City By The Toilet. The filthy city sank to the core of the earth, where it is very, very hot.
"This is all the result of George Bush and prayers from Republicans!" cackled Nancy Pelosi and Judge Sotomayor together as they burst into flames. And both women were right for the first time in their lives.