St. Lawrence Island, Alaska - The Russians called it, "Hands Across The Bering Strait" a celebratory observation of Russian citizens holding hands across the border in honor of their closest neighbor to the South retiring from the landscape of American politics. Only Alaskan Governess, Sarah Palin, has called up the National Guard and the local St. Lawrence Island militia, putting them on red alert in response.
"It's not the first time she's done this, you know," said Commander John Collins as poured himself a cup of coffee and looked out at a C-130 on the tarmac loading up with men and equipment at Alaskan National Guard airbase in Anchorage. "But thank God it will be the last."
Flying in her helicopter to St. Lawrence Island on the border of the International Date Line on the Bering Straits and Russia beyond, Sahara Palin is again refused help from the National Guard.
"Okay, everybody," says Palin on a bullhorn as she flies over the sleepy residents of St. Lawrence Island, Alaska. "This is no drill, you know. The Russians are really coming this time. I can see then over there holding hands to keep warm, as they get ready to invade Alaska. So everybody wake up and get your guns and meet me down at the dock, eh."
Sarah Palin repeated that message over and over again as she buzzed overhead with Todd in the cockpit, taking turns shooting at wolves for practice.
"We thought we give international peace a jump start," explained a Russian resident of Chukot, participating in the event. "Although I will miss her. It will be strange looking out across the Bering Strait and not seeing her looking out back at me from behind a pair of binoculars. It made me feel safe having some looking over my shoulder all the time, especially since the collapse of Communism and the KGB. Gee, how I miss those guys."
As Sarah Palin lead her forces, a small flotilla of fishing boats, headed for the International Time Line and into Russian waters, she stood on the bow of one of the motor boats posing like General George Washington in that famous painting by Emanuel Leutze in 1851 "Washington Crossing the Delaware".
"Okay, I just made my final phone call to the National Guard," said Palin over her bullhorn to the flotilla armed with hunting rifles, RPGs and baby seal clubs. "And you know what? They're refusing to help just like all the other times. So you know what that means. They'll be coming from the air very soon. You know the drill. Just try to stick together and maybe we'll all see other on the other side this time. If not, I want you all to know that it has been an honor and privilege being your Command in Chief of the Nation of Alaska. Don't let me down this time boys. I want to go out in a blaze of fire! All Maverickly like."
With that, the flotilla made a delta formation and doubled their speed as they crossed the International Date Line, headed for Russian territory.
"Excuse me," said Commander John Collins, as he boarded a C-130 loaded with National Guard Paratroopers and Frogmen. "I got another war to prevent."