Washington, D.C. - Issuing what some are saying is the closest to an apology Sgt. James M. Crowley is ever going to get from the president for his use of the word "stupidly" to describe the Cambridge police officer's actions, Barack Obama took a step back from the podium at a press conference today and pointed a finger at his teleprompter, blaming it for his faux pas.
"When the president first used the word 'stupidly' were all shocked," said a reporter who was present at both presidential news conferences. "Now, we're all beyond being shocked. We're all just numb."
Blaming his teleprompter for the "stupidly" comment brings to an end an almost 6-month long relationship, the longest on record the president has enjoyed with any of his staff.
"Just the same, it was difficult for the president to point fingers at an old friend," later confirmed a White House spokesman "But rest assured, the teleprompter was disposed with in a manner consistent with the president's new Green policy. At a Chicago recycling center setup especially to deal with just these kind of situations."
As the Secret Service took the teleprompter off the stage, Obama stepped forward to the podium again, addressing members of the media, only this time without a teleprompter to assist him.
"I, um, ah. Got to go now?" said Obama as he strained, struggled and stammered over his words trying to speak clearly. "Wife waiting. Leaving now. Must I."
As Obama walked away from the podium, an urgent announcement came over the White House pressroom speakerphone.
"Open interviews for a replacement teleprompter are being conducted immediately following the presidential press conference today," said the voice sounding nervous. "That's in the Rose Garden today. Right after the press conference is over. No experience or references required. That's today as in right now."