BOSTON - The newly commissioned state-of-the-art United States naval aircraft carrier The USS Michael Jackson has set sail from its home port of Boston towards the Pacific Ocean waters off of the coast of North Korea.
At first the Department of the Navy had stated that The USS Michael Jackson was heading to Pensacola, Florida to help in the evacuation of Pensacocacolans should Hurricane Aladdin strike the Florida panhandle.
But now it looks like Aladdin has veered northeasterly and he appears to be heading towards the western coast of Ireland.
Captain Tremain Overdollar stated that he wasn't really supposed to say anything but since it is already being reported on MSNBC the USS Michael Jackson's new orders are to continue on a course towards North Korea and once she reaches the Sea of Japan she is supposed to launch her airplane squadron of 80 F-14 Tomcats and totally destroy the North Korean port city of Hongnam.
Captain Overdollar said that the reason that President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and First Mama Michelle have chosen Hongnam is because that is where the factory that is manufacturing North Korean missile parts is located.
When the president was first told that the YangYang Brothers Missile Parts Factory was located next door to a 24-Hour North Korean Fast Food Restaurant, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Tough titty said the kitty."
And so the U.S. Navy's newest and most powerful aircraft carrier, The USS Micheal Jackson is heading towards North Korea at full speed. She is being escorted by the United States destroyers, The USS Johnny Appleseed, The USS Sundance Kid, and the USS Pocahontas.
The Central Intelligence Agency has intercepted an email from North Korean leader Kim Jong Il to his grandmother Foo Yoo Soo Moo, that if planes from The USS Michael Jackson attack North Korea, he will respond by launching a missile towards Neverland Ranch.
SIDENOTE: The CIA has reported that as of now, North Korea actually has two missiles. One is actually still in the box. The other one is missing the on/off button for the vectored aerodynamic maneuvering thrusters. The CIA added that the missile's incendiary sub-munitions kinetic warhead is reportedly still en-route from Havana, Cuba.